Why, God?

    August 25, 2020 | Stories by Bella Brusa

    The sting of rejection from someone you love wounds deeply and can follow you for quite some time. When rejection comes from family, your children, friends, or your spouse I’ve asked the Lord “Why?” Is it because sometimes we feel as though we have no faith in God? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking God “Why?” But then again, would I even be ready for it if God were to actually answer me and say: “OK, I’m gonna tell you why”? I probably wouldn’t like the answer or it might just blow my mind. 

    My faith in the Lord has always been an important part of my life. I was introduced to Jesus as a child in the Philippines and, as a preacher’s kid, I hung on the coattails of my parents in regards to my Christian education and growth. However, those childhood Sunday School songs and memorized Bible verses have never left me. I remember those early days with much fondness, and I believe it helped build the foundation of my growing faith and prepared me for the rough times ahead. I can still remember my mom quoting Proverbs 22:6.

    As a survivor of divorce, my faith in the Lord has been the steadfast rock I’ve clung to through the storms of the divorce proceedings, custody battles, and sometimes intentional hurt from people I love. I had days when I didn’t know what to pray for and could only cry and scream into a pillow, questioning the future of my young children, Leah and Adam. It reminded me of Romans 8:26, “Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with ‘groanings too deep’ for words.”  Most of us don’t give focused thought to hurt and suffering until we experience it for ourselves, and it can often come as a shockwave to the heart.

    After my many “Why?” questions, there’s usually no satisfactory answers. So, then, it comes down to the question of “Whom?” To whom do we turn to, when trials and hurts come unexpectedly in our lives? The answer is Jesus Christ. He IS our anchor, our solid rock. I am always strengthened by Psalm 18:2 which reads “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.”  I’m sure there will eventually be more rough and trying days ahead, but I thank the Lord for His steady supply of strength, love, and never letting go of my hand when I need Him.

    My children and my faith gave me the motivation and strength to get back up, get them ready for school, go to work, and do the every day duties a single mom has to do. It’s as if the Lord told me “Stand strong and get yourself together because your children are depending on you.” Our trials can come, leaving us speechless when we least expect it, but our faith “prepares” us for when our thinking gets muddled. Come what may, we’ll still have the solid ground of Jesus to stand on. Christ reassures us of this in John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In this world you ‘will have tribulation’. But take heart I have overcome the world.”

    - Bella Brusa

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